Tiger “Drama Queen” Woods To Be A No-Show At Kapalua

As is his custom, like his would-be-nemesis Phil Mickelson, Tiger has decided to skip The Mercedes-Benz Championship at Kapalua.

Once again, he puts skiing over golf. Like he does diving, shopping and several other activities that don’t pay him a plug-nickel.

But because some golf company, think Nike, has overpaid him already, he can now ski, dive and shop, when other golfers are out there supporting the season opening event and helping the sponsors get their money’s worth.

The sponsors to this event just got the shimmy stuck to them. Hard. With a sneer.

Does he have the right to not play ? If I want to debate stupid questions like this, I call you, so don’t even go there.

Does he owe it to golf, to the PGA and to the sponsors ? Yes.

Why did he really skip this tourney ? I’ll tell you.

‘Cause he can. And we let him do it.

Do the Jets ever say, uh, … we aren’t playing this week. No.

Do the St. Louis Cardinals ever skip the World Series ? No. Not when they have the chance to play.

Why did this drama queen do it ?

Maybe because it’s sponsored by Mercedes-Benz and he has a Buick. Bad choice, by the way.

Maybe it’s because he’s defending champ at Torrey Pines and wants to play his next event there to see if he can keep his streak, which is over as I see it, alive.

Maybe it’s because Stuart Appleby is 3-time defending champ at Kapalua and he knows he can’t beat Stuart in Hawaii and his streak will be over.

Maybe he’s got a little Paris in him and just wants to create a little buzz. Drama Queens do that.

Maybe the four months since his last PGA event just hasn’t been enough of a break from the action. Four months off from golf ? You’re kidding right. Maybe a neuro-surgeon needs a four month break, not a golfer.

I mean, he worked 15 weeks last year didn’t he ? And some of those were 4 day work weeks.

Whooooeeee ! How does he handle a schedule like that. Grind, grind, grind.

He says he needs the EXTRA three weeks off. I didn’t get a total of three weeks off last year, like most of you didn’t either.

Maybe we need to vote him off the Tour for a few years so he can really rest up and see if we miss him.

I won’t.

EDIT - 11:51 Pm - I heard a few hours ago that Tiger’s wife, Elin, is pregnant with their first child. I’m sure that has something to do with his decision to diss the Mercededs-Benz folks, but I still don’t have any slack for him. Sorry.